Being rubbish

I'm 32 so maybe I shouldn't be proud, but today I made an effort to ignore some rather stubborn feelings I have towards socialising. For 2 weeks I knew I had to attend a party on Sunday at a friend's and for 2 weeks I let my worries surface but didn't join in and start justifying them or try and think of something else - I just let them come and go.
Then yesterday, feeling a little tired, I started to worry and got caught up. This morning, I managed to come up with 100 excuses as to why I shouldn't go. There were some good ones!
Anyway, then I just stopped, acknowledged that this is a pattern that will continue as long as I let it. No matter what the event, I can think of an excuse not to go. It wasn't really a fear of anything in particular, rather a lack of anything driving me to go. But that gives rise to a fear of sorts.
So I went. And it was tiring and boring and awkward and sometimes fun and interesting. But now at least I know there's nothing really to fear in socialising - I may just feel awkward or shy or stupid or bored, but that's all. To be comfortable being rubbish at some stuff is important, I reckon, and this is a step in the right direction.