Sitting in Zazen today I remembered how I met this practice and the various places I've been to sit:
Myoogadani Temple - My first year in Japan in 1999 I read an article in Tokyo Classified (now, Metropolis) about a temple in Myoogadani in central Tokyo that encouraged foreigners to come and sit Zazen with them. They sat on a Wednesday evening, so the next time I was free, I went along. It was in a lovely location surrounded by the ubiquitous winding streets. I walked up the steps, passed through the temple gate and was greeted by a friendly looking man who showed me how to sit. We sat two periods of forty minutes and it was very humid and very painful. My knees couldn't reach the floor in a cross-legged position so I was constantly keeping myself up with my lower back. Afterwards we all drank tea and smoked in a little room by the main Zendo hall. What sticks in my mind still now is the fact that the head monk there was a refuse collector, was quite ill, and really nice. He told me to let my thoughts continue like the flow of blood, and not to try to stop them. Considering this is 10 years ago and I can barely remember what I had for dinner yesterday, his advice must have meant something to me. Despite having had a good time there, I never went back. It was too painful to sit for such a long period. They gave me a Zafu, I sent them a cheque by post and a letter saying thank you...
Eihei-ji - The next place I sat was at the head Soto temple in Fukui prefecture. You had to apply months in advance and it was all very formal and organised. I took the bus from Tokyo station for the long journey into the mountains West of Tokyo. I was expecting some proper Zazen with all the monks - sleeping on one tatami mat. But when I got there I was greeted by two young monks and shown to a lovely 7 mat room, with bathroom and balcony overlooking the temple bell. I was disappointed but quite relieved at the same time. Again they showed me how to sit but this time we only say for 10 minutes. That evening I ate traditional Shojin-ryori (vegetarian monk-food) on my own in my room. It was weird but cool nonetheless. The next morning, I missed the wake up call and arrived late to the morning sitting half asleep and eyes filled with sleep. Everyone smiled and then we sat for 15 minutes. Although I didn't really get to sit much it was a lovely atmosphere in the temple and the wood under feet is always nice. What stayed with me though was that one of the young monks asked me to come and train with them. If I had said yes, maybe I wouldn't be here now - I mean, I'd be dead, because it's notoriously tough at Japanese Zen temples. When I left my two young monks, I was sad, and as I walked away I turned to wave but they'd already turned and gone back inside. This was my first lesson - Zen monks just don't seem to act like the rest of us! But I liked that...
Zenshoan Temple - When I moved out of Shinkoiwa on the edge of Eastern Tokyo to the more central Nishi Nippori, I discovered my favourite temple and sat there for 4 years until I left Japan. I loved it there. I didn't have to talk to anyone, but I often did, and we sat two periods of forty minutes every Sunday evening followed by green tea and manju (a Japanese sweet). The head monk there was scary and would often scream during our sitting, scolding someone for moving too much or clearing their throat too often. He walked around during the first part of each sitting with his Kyosaku (encouragement stick) and for the four years I sat there, I could never sit still or relax while he walked around. It made me really nervous, but I was always secretly in awe of this guy who could roar like a lion, walk around and whack people with a stick, and sit still for so long. I often met him around town and we'd say hello and he'd always ask me, "So, where do you actually live?" At the end of every session there you had to bow to the Zendo when you left and I always directed my bow to the head monk to say thank you - I was too scared to actually say thank you. When I was having a bad time at the end of my time in Japan, I went there and asked to sit in the Zendo on my own. Another monk answered the door and said that unfortunately I couldn't. It annoyed me that the place I came to every Sunday for four years to sit, was closed to me when I most needed it.
Soji-ji - The other head Soto temple is located in Tsurumi just outside of Tokyo. I often went there to sit Sunday mornings till early afternoon. You also had to help with cleaning there and I got to do the proper cloth-running-cleaning thing which the monks do to clean the long corridors in the temples - which is probably the coolest thing in Zen. They were a big group and the Zendo was a proper Zendo with raised tatami mat platforms to sit on and a ledge in front. You had to spin on your Zafu to face the wall. I didn't know which way to walk during the walking meditation and often my legs were so stiff, I held up the line as I hobbled. I mainly went to Soji-ji for the floor cleaning...
Enkaku-ji - An important Zen temple in Kita-Kamakura with a tradition of training graduates before starting their new jobs, I did my first and only intensive retreat here. I still remember vividly the owls during the early morning sitting, the shy young monk who told us off for talking while we swept the grounds, our late night outdoor Zazen, the snoring, the shouting at 'snifflers' during sitting periods, and just the sheer pain of sitting for such long periods. I arrived at 6pm and we sat off and on till 9pm, then outside for half an hour, then not a wink of sleep, then up again at 3:30am for more sitting that seemed to go on forever, then formal breakfast, some sweeping outside, then more sitting followed by a talk by a monk which I couldn't stand because I had to sit still again. I remember the head monk smiling when I entered the hall, as if to say, "Well done, you made it!" I think this was my first taste of the feeling you get after intensive sitting - sweeping the grounds was just brilliant.
And that's it for the Japan Zazen nostalgia.
