Undeceivable - nature, zen and sliding

Fur'or against Russell Brand?

All week long we've had the radio on at work and the story about Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross's prank call to Andrew Sachs has been on constant rotation. I didn't originally listen to the show but I've read the script of the show in the tabloids. 

And I honestly don't see the problem. It wasn't particularly funny but it wasn't done in a spiteful way. Brand was apologising all the way through it like a buffoon. If I'd been in Fawlty Towers and came home after a pint in the local pub to that message on my answering machine, I'd think, oh it's Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand acting like kids! 

This furor is more about 29,000 people who really have got nothing better to. The excitement a story like this creates is quite addictive. A morbid fascination. On the way back from work today there'd been a crash on the motorway and I got a little excited - ooh, something's happening! I purposefully don't stop and look at accidents now because I know what's motivating me. I find it's the same with a big news story or a bit of controversy. Another percentage of those 29,000 people just don't like Ross and Brand. And I can't blame them really. Ross is arrogant and Brand has an ego the size of an elephant the size of the universe. But I suspect most who complained like to pretend they never think anything rude and so are easily offended by their naughty humour.

Anyway, it's good Brand quit and Ross is suspended. Exciting!

In the Sunshine

Here's the new single from Peach Boy - that's me and my MacBook. Inspired by Vampire Weekend, I like it although again the recording isn't up to scratch. I think it might be time to buy myself a mic and record my vocals the proper way. Anyway, click on the link below to have a listen then write a comment to tell me what you think. 

In the Sunshine

Traditional Japan/England

Although England is a pleasant enough place to live, with its abundant countryside, friendly people, and vibrant music and TV culture, there's something quite empty about this little country's identity compared to another country I've lived a long time in - Japan. Aside from a few traditions such as Sunday lunch, Fish and Chips, pubs, weekend newspapers, Xmas, Easter and chocolate eggs, Bonfire Night and fireworks, and Sunday strolls in the park, to be English isn't that exciting. I'm not saying it can't be exciting - that's just silly - it's just that on the surface, the traditions and identity of England and the English, isn't that exciting. Our national identity isn't very exciting or rich. Scratch a little deeper and yeah, things are exciting, but as a group of people, a nation, England's pretty dull.

Compare that with the Japanese national identity. Although Japanese work hard and that's a huge part of their identity, as essentially a group-focused nation, there are traditions that just about everyone continues, young and old. For a start, they have a seemingly neverending supply of great food, sashimi and sushi, being just a tiny part. And what's good about the food is that you can eat a lot of it in Japanese pubs (Izakayas). The Izakaya culture in Japan is huge - office ladies go there for dinner after work with colleagues, salarymen drown their work sorrows there, couples meet for dates there, end of year parties are held there, and not only can you eat great food but the decor is often traditional - the crammed-full of knick-knacks style or the minimalist style. Aside from Izakayas, there are countless other restuarants catering to all tastes and budgets. I used to go to a local fish restaurant and paid just £3 for fish, rice, soup and salad. But life isn't just about food is it - the Japanese spend the rest of their time singing in Karaoke bars, drinking under cherry blossoms (Hanami), watching fireworks (Hanabi), seeing the leaves change colour in Autumn (Kouyou), going to spas in the mountains (Onsen), visiting shrines at New Year (Hatsumoude) , catching beetles in summer (Kabutomoshi), playing games at summer festivals (Natsu Matusri), visiting Kyoto once a year, visiting relatives' graves, and travelling around their country eating the local delicacies - Hokkaido for crab, Osaka - Takoyaki/Okonomiyaki, Kobe - Beef, Okinawa - Souki Soba, Kyoto - Kaiseki Ryori, Nagoya - Misonokomi... - and Tokyoites visit Kamakura every year for a walk round the temples and perhaps a green tea. This again is not all the there is to do and all the Japanese do. Most of their time is actually taken up doing shopping and playing Pachinko (!), but as a country, the Japanese in mass tend to follow this sort of cultural map. Every Japanese you'll ever meet will go to a cherry blossam party, go to an onsen, visit the shrines at New Year, see fireworks in summer, see the leaves change colour in Autumn, and eat lots and lots of nice food every year. That's their identity. And because of it, it's a fun place to be and visit.

As a backdrop to a country, it's really nice. A walk around Tokyo always reveals something interesting going on.

Having said all this, with so much going on and so many traditions, life can sometimes feel a little rigid in Japan. In England, life is like a blank canvas.

And I like this freedom.

I only mention all this because I've decided to go snowboarding with my mate Yoski in Japan this Xmas. and looking at the site of one resort I was reminded why I stayed so long in the Land of the Nice Smelling Sumo...Nozawa Ski Resort

Sorenland

After my retreat, I paid a visit to Sorenland - a land full of walking up stairs, reading storybooks, cuddling fig roles, dancing with Iggle Piggle, saying 'byebye', and watching food get squashed. It's a fun place!

My nephew is a dude and Sorenland is a lovely place to visit.

Zen is for Idiots - Part 3: Throssel Hole Buddhist Abbey Retreat

Well I'm back from my retreat at Throssel Hole Buddhist Abbey in the glorious hills of Northumberland. Far from my little MacBook, my iPod, TV, and chavs. 

Starting at 5pm on Friday, me and 20 other newbies gathered around the dinner table for dinner consisting of leak soup, bread, and hot water. I hadn't eaten since my Burger King at lunch so I was starving. I had second helpings of bread and soup and later snuck out to my car to get an apricot cake I'd bought on the way up. 

Once we'd had dinner, we were informed that the rest of the retreat would be in silence. 

After dinner we were given formal instuctions as to how to meditate and do Zazen. In Japan you either sit in lotus, half lotus, or on your knees. If you can't do any of those, you go home and watch TV on your sofa! At Throssel, they had chairs, stools, cushions - you could even do it lying down if you were suffering from a bad back. It annoyed me a bit because I've spent years sitting with a little bit of pain, whereas I could have just sat on a chair without ever getting pins and needles! I still think sitting in lotus or half lotus is the most balanced way to sit - I tried sitting on a chair and it just didn't work for me. It felt like I was just sitting on a chair!

After the instructions we sat for 15 minutes, then were given a bit of free time. At 8 we sat again for 20 minutes and then from 9 to 10 it was silent time and 10 was lights out. 

During the silent time I went outside the monastery grounds and went for a walk. It was a lovely evening and the area was deathly silent.

By 10 we were all lying down in the meditation room ready to sleep. Then the Snoring Man began. I think every retreat has a Snoring Man. I remember feeling that my thoughts about Snoring Man were just shooting stars against a brilliant night sky, but that didn't seem to help me fall asleep. I dozed in and out of sleep until the monks rang the morning bell at 6am.

We all leapt up, put our bedding back into the Bodhi Tree cupboards we sat Zazen in front of, then rushed downstairs to get washed and ready for Zazen at 6:20.

The morning sitting was really nice and it felt good to start the day off with 30 minutes of Zazen.

The rest of the day followed this pattern : eat, working meditation, Zazen, working meditation, Zazen, eat, questions with the monks, Zazen, free time, Zazen, free time, lights out.

It wasn't a particularly strenuous retreat schedule but I remember thinking that my eyes were going to fall out during the evening Zazen. 

Sunday morning we got up as usual at 6, sat Zazen at 6:20 followed by the morning service. Then we had breakfast and some free time. There was another period of Zazen but I had a chat with one of the monks instead, out in the garden in the sun, which was nice. 

After another session of questions with the monks and lunch, we were free to go.

My first 2 day retreat was really nice. I learnt a lot and realised my puny 10 minutes of sitting and sometimes 20 minutes, is just laziness. It's not too hard to sit for 30 minutes in the morning.

I came back with even more faith in the benefits of Zazen and more determination to sit every day for 30 minutes. If I don't you can hit me with a bamboo stick!

Whackkkk!!

Books That Inspired Me

I felt it would be nice to try to remember my favourite books - books that have moved me, made me laugh, helped me and inspired me. The storylines of a lot of my favourite books remain fairly vague in my memory but because of this they're even more beautiful and mysterious. I'll write what I remember the story being and anyone out there who remembers the real storyline can post it. Or you can just laugh at my incredible lack of memory for storylines. The rule is - no Wikipedia or Google! 

1. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky- I absolutely adored this book. It's about a guy who wants to go to university to study law but is too poor to pay the entrance fees. He lives in a dingy little appartment with a lovely old landlady who is kind to him. He's an upright sort of person. In a moment of madness he robs his landlady. She falls and dies. Although he now has the money to go and study, he also has the crippling guilt of his crime. The guilt is his punishment. And for 3/4 of the book, he sinks into despair...In the end...I think...he kills himself. Or is hanged for his crime. I remember feeling incredibly sorry for the main character. He feels so guilty for what he has done, he ends up telling his friend. There's also a love interest which makes his situation even more touching. 

2. The Great Gatsby by F.Scott Fitzgerald - One of the first books I read, I think. At 16/17. I didn't read much before that at all. I remember again being very moved by this story but alas, all I can really remember is a car crash.

3. The Strange Case of Dr.Jeckyl and Mr.Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson - Now this is the book that first got me into reading. I read it on holiday with my family in Marbella in Spain. I was completely hooked. Aside from the basics of the story I don't remember much at all. I remember more about my holiday and sprawling out on the sofa reading as Mum cooked up a rice salad.

4. Vladmir Nabokov - Despair - A mysterious tale of dopplegangers and murder. The final scene as he waits for the police to come for him is awesome. I love the way he writes and the unique stories he tells. After Despair, I read Lolita, Pnin, and various other stories by Nabokov and would list him as one of my favourite authors. But alas, I can't remember enough about any of his stories to hold an intelligent conversation.

5. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami - I haven't read anything but Murakami for years. After reading this, I was hooked on everything he wrote: Norwegian Wood, Sputnik Sweetheart, his short stories, Kafka on the Shore, but the Wind-Up Bird Chronicle remains my favourite. It's a story for David Lynch fans. There are large chapters based on the attrocities the Japanese committed in China during the 2nd World War which initially get in the way of the action but you find Murakami's writing is so good that you become immersed in that story too. It's a real page-turner which reveals nothing at all. It's a little like peeling an onion, in that respect. The main character embarks on a journey to find his missing cat, meeting a series of intriuging characters along the way. He gets weird phone calls, ends up in a well, befriends a young girl, and listens to a lot of Jazz. And yet it is one of the most captivating stories I've ever read. The end is just plain weird though. He manages escape the well by pulling himself through the walls...

6. Hardcore Zen by Brad Warner - The book that made me practice Zen rather than just talk about it. It's nice to have someone writing about something seemingly mysterious in a straight forward and normal way. 

7. 3 Pillars of Zen by Philip Kapleau - I read this before HZ. Er...the 3 pillars are...Practice, Dharma, and Sangha. Nah, can't remember. When I first moved to Japan and started getting into Zen I'd constantly have questions bouncing around my head. I made loads of notes in the back of my copy which I still have now. Reading them back now it's quite funny. Things like, "Thoughts aren't the problem. It's the attachment to them that causes a problem. Without attachment thoughts are just energy. This energy is Buddha-Mind." Be afraid. Be very afraid. I don't write things like that anymore! Great book though!

8. L'etranger by Albert Camus and Nausea by Jean-Paul Satre - Existence precedes essence. A stone. I can't remember when my mum died. Could've been yesterday! Yup, well worth reading those two existential classics. I remember my best friend wrote a review of L'etranger for our French class and the teacher was so impressed she thought he'd plagiarised it. Cool! At university I really got into Satre thanks to a very clever friend of mine. I focused mainly on the idea of freedom, bad faith, and responsibility. Which is interesting considering that is kinda what attracts me to Zen too. I still don't really understand Nausea though...

9. Maupassant and Flaubert - I spent 1 year in France during my degree at University and I spent it reading as many French classics as I could and snowboarding. It was a great year. I love Maupassant the best but can't remember anything about any of his stories. Woops. They were good though.

10. From Esme with Love and Squalar by J.D Salinger - My favourite story of his is Teddy, in which a young boy goes on about how stupid humans are for attaching feelings to the weather. In the end, he maybe dies in an empty pool...

11. Anything by Hermann Hesse - I really got into Hesse too, another author inspired by Eastern thought. The Glass Bead Game is fantastic as is Siddartha...

Phew. I'm tired. I lost my passion towards the end...

Zen is for Idiots Part Two

I'm going to be staying at Throssel Hole Buddhist Abbey up in Northumberland for a weekend retreat this Friday.

And I'm so excited I can't sleep properly! That's a bad sign. A sign I'm expecting to unfold the great mysteries of time in a weekend. I told you Zen is for idiots...oh, well, be lovely in the countryside nonetheless.

After that I'm going to Babyatom's world and play with my surfer dude nephew!

It's a little adventure into the unknown. I likes it.

Romantic?

After reading about it in the Guardian, I've been hooked on a little bit of Web Romance. It's not what you think... 

Chris's girlfriend says he's not romantic. Now he's devised a unique way to prove her wrong - put loads of pictures of her on the Web for the whole world to see, send her on a treasure hunt, and finally propose to her. I think it's a great idea, so much so that I donated £1 to the fund to fill her room with flowers. If you've got a little time on your hands, like I have, have a look at the trip so far. Today is the day he proposes: jeannesays.com