Undeceivable - nature, zen and sliding

A bit of culture

I watched Mark Kermode's interview with Angelina Jolie and it was very interesting and quite funny too. Right at the end, Angelina says to Kermode, "I like your hair like that! I should get Brad to do that." And Kermode shoots back, "He has. In Johnny Suede!" "Oh, I haven't seen that yet..." says Angelina.
Made me laugh.
She's cool though.

I want my money back!

Yesterday I came outside before going to sleep and had a smoke. I don't know why but I started looking right over the woods, up into the sky. I felt something weird, like a pang of deep depression -  a real sadness. And for a while I was lost inside this feeling. I began thinking about how everything I was experiencing was nothing without me. Everything is just a product of my mind. For a while this made me feel really lonely. No-one else will ever know what my world is actually like. And they'll never be a part of it either. All there is, is me creating my world. And it's just my world! Always just me in my own world. All this lovely nature, the stars and the night air. Is this all just a figment of my own mind? A bit sad, isn't it? I want my money back!

Of course there's a flip-side to this. Things exist before and after me. There's something there before me. But in that moment, I felt like maybe there's a reason people don't think too much about this sort of stuff. It's kinda scary!

I'm so used to thinking that this world really is made up of lovely green trees and beautiful chirping birds. And I guess it is. And it isn't.

Great lyrics

"In heaven, everything is fine.

In heaven, everything is fine.

In heaven, everything is fine.

You've got your good things, and I've got mine.

In heaven, everything is fine.

In heaven, everything is fine.

In heaven, everything is fine.

You've got your good things, and you've got mine.

In heaven, everything is fine."

Babyatom did a great version of this song too - Giant Killer Records

And The Pixies too:

All I wanna do is...take ya money!

Isn't it funny how simple lines in songs can feel so powerful? If someone I met told me that all people want to do in the world is take your money, I'd think, yeah,true but what's that got to do with me! But put it in a song like Paper Planes by MIA and it just seems so much more profound. I listened to a little of her interviews and she's quite political and interesting. She's growing on me.

Don't worry, I know what this one's all about. No problem at all...er...

Opinions? Nah, I'm just bored!

I wonder if people with loads of opinions who fight for world peace are just bored...
Sometimes I feel so excited to have an opinion about something. The Russel Brand debate was really exciting. So is the John Seargant shock resignation. But also I like it when there's an issue that revolves around morality or freedom or the meaning of life. And Barack Obama becoming president. That was fun too.
But am I really feeling strongly about something or am I just jumping on to the rush of excitement? It's hard to tell, but sometimes I catch myself spouting off about this and that (X-Factor finalists/I'm a Celebrity contestants) and think, calm down, son. And I can't escape the feeling that whatever I say, it's wrong. Whatever opinion I have, there's always an equally convincing counter-argument.
That's not going to stop me opening my stupid brain once in a while but maybe it will stop me caring what comes out or being bothered about how convincing it is...
Whatever.

 

M.I.A

I think she's great. Now just got to work out what the song is about...

It's not that hard

A conversation with the Zen monk at the retreat I attended recently, came to mind today. At the retreat, I was complaining about not finding the 'power' to 'overcome' myself and 'force' myself to do regular daily Zen meditation (Zazen). He seemed shocked by my language. It's not hard, he said. You don't need to force youself to do it. There's nothing to overcome, either, he insisted. I ignored what he said and put it down to the fact that he doesn't watch any TV.

But then I guess what Mr.Zen Monk was getting at was the fact that all you have to do is accept the thoughts that stand in your way. And that acceptance isn't anything at all. It requires no effort. There's no battle, no trying, no fight. It's by trying to avoid those thoughts that we exert effort. But it's such a habit it seems the other way round. To sit Zazen every day, all you need to do is...sit every day. It sounds a little simplistic, but maybe it really isn't so hard, after all. (It helps to like it too, I guess.)
And I wonder whether this can be applied to other things in life...

So, I won't be updating my blog for a while as I'm off bungee jumping, eating cockroaches, quitting smoking, and doing a little public speaking. Let's see how easy this life really can be!

No X-Factor

We did it. We banned the X-Factor from our TV. I hope that viewer ratings have dropped to 0, but that's fairly unlikely.

Instead of watching the X-Factor I flicked through the channels for a couple of hours. Finally, around 11:30pm I found something worth watching, The Mothman Prophecies. It was quite good. I like Richard Gere. 

Do you know Beck is a scientologist? Weird, huh?

Coffee and Questions

A walk to the coffee shop uncovers quite a few things. 

I order my 90p coffee from an Eastern European girl who is compelled to talk in her native language with her colleague and giggle as she serves me. Is this impoliteness and arrogance the inevitibility of multiculturalism, I wonder?

I sit down and have my coffee. A couple sit in front of me in silence, the lady eating her toast and the guy staring at me as I drink my coffee. Is this the emptiness that awaits all married couples, I wonder?

I read the Mail on Sunday. Someone has complained that a property appearing on the programme, A Place in the Sun, actually was in the shade by 3pm. Has existence become so unaware of itself that it has to complain about everything, all the time?

I finish my coffee and walk home. I see an advert on a public phone - "No job to big. Call us now!" I'm writing copy for people who can't spell. Is it really worth it?

Just by the public phone, I pass the estate agents which has gone bankrupt. There are 4 or 5 builders smoking as they work. Are people so addicted to smoking that they can't even take a little break and smoke, I wonder?

As I walk along the home straight back to my flat, a thought comes to me: Why am I filling my head with all these silly questions?  

The Xciting-Factor

Watching the X-Factor yesterday, it became all too clear that we were basically watching a TV show where all that matters is viewing figures. With that in mind, our little household has banned it: it felt like we were pawns and being controlled by ITV bosses. And we hated that. Being told by Louis to vote in the people that deserve to win, was like being told by Louis to vote in people that deserved to win! And we hated that. The fact that he voted out Austin the week before and then Laura this week is a clear signal that the X-Factor has nothing to do with an X factor and more to do with an X-citing factor. On top of that, who are people voting for? It's quite depressing really. Daniel hasn't got the X-factor! He's just a chubby man who doesn't sing out of tune. He's nice enough, but he hasn't got the X-factor. Rachel had the X-factor but it's been sucked out of her. Diana's got the weird-factor. She's OK, but her voice reminds me of Cilla Black. JLS have got one good singer but one singer does not a boy band make. Alexander is another Leona which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I wouldn't say that's an X. More like an L. I can't spell Owen the way it's meant to be spelt but he hasn't got the X-factor. He's just got a soft voice. The only person who had the X-factor was Laura. And Louis voted her off. If the X-factor is just about making it as exciting as possible, then please change the show's title to Xciting-factor, that way we won't waste our time watching it in the hope of seeing some new pop talent. 

Anyway, we don't watch it anymore. It's pants. Strickly's where it's at!