Since my first retreat at Throssel in October 2008, I've sat 30 minutes every day, without fail.
Since my second and 1 week long retreat at Throssel on April 20th 2009, I've sat 2 x 30 minutes every day without fail and 4 x 30 minutes at the weekends.
Up until then I'd sat off and on for 7 years - with long periods of not sitting and longer periods of sitting every day for 15 minutes. Sometimes alone, and sometimes at temples in and around Tokyo.
Why do I have to sit?
This question always pops up - why are most people able to just live normal lives without having to sit still and re-connect with something that isn't thinking? Do I have a weird mind? Are my senses over-sensitive to stimulus? I don't think so.
I think it stems from an idealism of sorts - a belief that life can be better, that I can be more considerate of others and less caught up in my own dramas. I'm beginning to accept that we're far from perfect, but am beginning to think that we can forget our imperfectness/perfectness and just live in a good way, moment by moment.
Last weekend we went to a party at my late best friend's house. There's an altar of sorts in the lounge with his picture on and some religious statuettes - everyone at the party aside us were devout Christians. We all sat eating in the lounge with paper plates on our laps and plastic cups by our sides. But one guy had inadvertently placed his plate and cup on the altar. I guess he wasn't aware of what he'd done.
But it made me think of all the times I'd done things without really being aware. And if you're not aware of what you're doing, you're going to act from that mess of conflicting emotions and thoughts that is your brain. And you'll end up doing some stupid stuff...
So maybe that's why I sit.
But on top of that, it's really nice to let everything drop away for a while every day and return to the source...and to keep coming back to it whenever I can, day by day.
*No, I know, no-one asked me why I sit. But someone's got to ask the questions around here!